Never Surrender

It’s been a few months since I last blogged. Bet you all thought I was done with this writing thing, huh? The truth of the matter is that I’ve had both nothing and everything to blog about, which leads me to…avoid blogging altogether.

I wanted to craft a post on how miserable catching Covid was and all the secondary problems I ended up with that caused me to be sick for over a month. (Still considered a “mild” case.) I wanted to talk about how amazing my community was for coming together to deliver food and medicine when I was in absolutely no condition to go out and husband was fishing in the remote wilderness of Canada.

I thought about writing a post on the difficulties and disappointments of being a still-querying writer after almost 8 years, of having 9 manuscripts finished, having queried 5 of them and still not having agent representation. On the last book, 9 agents requested the full manuscript to review. Most of those came back as form rejections with no feedback. 2 came back as R&Rs, which means revise & resubmit. Translation: “The agent loves it, but there are some aspects that aren’t going to be marketable. Change those up and send it back.” I’m still working on those changes. (And 2 of the 9 are still out for consideration with agents.)

I debated writing about accepting life as a spoonie, about knowing my own limitations and realizing I need to live within them. My hiking days are over. Guess I’ll just have to find new things to dive into… But only after I figure out how to walk without pain. Realizing at age 43 that my mobility is already affected, I’m concerned for what the future holds. In a world that is already so intolerant of those with disabilities, it’s difficult not to be fearful of where I may eventually end up.

Today’s appointment with the podiatrist who did my surgery in 2020 resulted in a script for custom ankle braces to help stabilize my very unstable ankles when I walk. Maybe I’ll have the older teen paint iridescent dragon scales on my ankle braces. But first, I actually have to get them, which requires another appointment in two weeks for a custom mold. Who knows how long after that until I actually receive them? (Hope I can walk without (much) pain during our first college tour next month…) In the meantime, I’ve used the wait time as an excuse to purchase myself a much needed gift that I plan on using daily for my foot pain.

I thought of writing about healthcare in general. About the $1400 in medical bills we received in the mail for husband’s monthly injections to keep his cancer from advancing despite having met our deductible in – wait for it – FEBRUARY. I wanted to talk about having to spend hours on the phone to sort out the mishap to find out we don’t owe that money at all (as we already knew and the people issuing the bills did not). The mental gymnastics already ill people have to go through in this country every time they have to deal with doctors and hospitals is exhausting.

So here it is. My post about nothing and everything. And it’s not all bad. My kids are thriving, one involved in ice skating, one in volleyball. They are excelling in middle and high school and enjoying various clubs – art, science, language, and more. They love the school atmosphere. It’s gratifying to see how much they’ve persevered despite all that’s happened in the past two years.

Their perseverance is also a lesson for me, teaching me never to give up. Giving in? Sure. Life is all about making adjustments.

Giving up? Never.

Privilege

Not going to lie. The banning of a certain someone from social media this week has me letting out a breath I didn’t know was holding. (I’m a YA author. You knew I had to use that phrase eventually, right?) There is still so much work to be done to right our listless ship of a country, but I’m an optimist at heart, and I’d like to think we can do it together.

In expressing my relief at today’s turn of events after my anger and horror at the events of two days ago on Facebook, I was accused of being an angry person. It was suggested that I’d be much happier if I turned off the news entirely and spent more time with my family.

The person who made this suggestion is a friend. A friend who means well. But ultimately a friend who has more privilege in the tip of his pinky finger than many people will ever have in their entire lives. He’s white. He’s male. He’s heterosexual. He’s Christian. He’s financially secure.

By suggesting I turn off the news to experience happiness, he’s saying that it’s okay to turn our backs on the millions of people in need across the country and around the world. He’s implying four-thousand American lives lost to Covid-19 a day isn’t worth being informed about.

He’s insinuating that we don’t need to know about families separated at the border, about women in those same camps being sterilized against their will, about Congress trying to remove healthcare in the middle of a global pandemic.

He’s saying we don’t need to hear about about the government’s refusal to care for its people, about its refusal to grant extended unemployment, to ensure its people have food and a place to live, to ensure access to clean water (Flint, MI still doesn’t have it). Never mind that the government is removing LGBTQ+ protections, packing the courts, or that dozens of counties across the U.S. are gerrymandered to ensure the minority party continues to rule as long as possible. He’s implying that a government not actually working for the people isn’t a problem for him. And it’s not. For the reasons I stated earlier.

He’s implying that those of us who do care enough to follow along in the news, those of us who call ourself activists because we attend peaceful protests* and write letters to our elected officials, don’t spend time with our families. We can’t, right? You can’t possibly spend time with your family and do all those pesky other things to fight for democracy and human lives.

Thing is? I wasn’t angry when I posted about smiling when I read that someone was banned from social media. But I became angry with my friend’s words. Turning my back so I can “be happy” in ignorance isn’t better than facing head on the ugliness this country has wrought in the last few years.

I want to see my children grow up in a world that is fair and free. In a country that embraces different cultures and traditions, where people in need are welcomed with open arms and given the opportunity to rest, recover, and thrive. I want my family to know that I’ve done everything I can do to make that future for them. And that they must do the same for others.

Because, and here’s the whole point:

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE THIS PRIVILEGE.

Full Stop.

We must be informed, seek truth, and fight for the things that are right. Always. Because without knowledge, without truth, ugly, ignorant opinions weigh just as important. And they’re not. Not by a long shot.

If you have privilege, use it. Use it to right the wrongs, to bring light to darkness, to fight the injustices in the world. It’s your duty.

It’s your privilege.

And mine.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

* NOT what took place at the Capitol on Wednesday; that was a mob of homegrown terrorists, not a protest.

Family, Life, and Things that Matter

I missed March, April, and most of May on the blog. I bet you can all guess why.

Wow.

What a heck of a year so far. Global pandemic, hundreds of thousands dead, and so many people refusing to do something as simple as wear a face mask to protect themselves and others. It’s mind-boggling.

Not going to lie, friends. I’ve had my ups and downs handling this over the last few months. As all of you have. Working from home, online schooling for 4th and 8th grades, a 10-year-old with a broken arm (because the pandemic wasn’t terrifying enough on its own…let’s head to a hospital for corrective surgery!), being around my family every single day all day long and never getting a break even though I’m an introvert and desperately, desperately need a few days of quiet…or just a silent house for…like…an hour. Yeah. It’s all been a bit of a challenge.

And I’m sure you’re all in the very same situation. We’re all facing difficult times. Stressful times. Unprecedented times. But it won’t last forever. Years, maybe. But not forever.

So take this time to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. Do things with them. Appreciate nature. Enjoy your backyard. (Or your balcony. Or your porch.) Here are a few snapshots from my own life in the past two months. Crazy, yes. But not all bad.

Family puzzles.

Family haircuts. (She’s trusting.)

Finished manuscript. (Book II of The Tarrowburn Prophecies. It’s almost ready!)

Broken arm.

Surgery because the fracture was through the growth plate.

Family karaoke night.

Chickens in the house. Hooray! These little ladies will be earning their keep in about four or five more months.

Backyard garden work.

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New project inspiration!

New truck! (Because the old one left husband stranded 40 miles from home not once, but TWICE. And it’s been 21 years, I guess we’re due.)

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