Tag: comfort

The Never Expected and Always Unthinkable

L. Ryan Storms2 Comments

If you’ve been following me for a while, odds are good that you know the health crisis we’ve been through over the last year as my husband faced a scary pancreatic cancer diagnosis last spring. The kind of diagnosis you’re not supposed to get at 43.

It was awful. It was traumatic. And until this week, I’d kind of sort of managed to tuck it away in the deep recesses of my mind. Because let’s face it—you can’t think about this kind of thing every day or you’ll actually drive yourself out of your head with worry, the kind of worry that comes with anxious, nervous energy that keeps you up into the wee hours of the morning every night with no one but your miserable self to keep you company.

And then this week someone I know on Twitter (I can’t even call her a ‘friend’—we’ve never had a single personal conversation!), a Pitchwars mentor & writer whose debut book just came out this month, a woman who is living her dream—the same dream I have—just got word that her husband had been hit by a car and was in the ICU at the hospital. I don’t know the details. I know only what she has shared on Twitter.

But her story has hit me so hard this week. So hard. Because it seems like even when things are really good, they can still be really bad. Clarissa recently tweeted about how wonderful the doctors and nurses are, about how they’re making sure that she’s taking care of herself, too. And it brought the memories flooding back.

The day I couldn’t eat because I woke up with such severe anxiety three days after my husband’s surgery that my stomach had cramped into one big knot. The nurse on shift that day didn’t say anything right away, but by 3 p.m., she gave me a knowing expression with worried eyes that I swear could see right into my soul and she asked me, “Have you eaten anything today?” I hadn’t. I couldn’t. So when I finally managed to eat a banana at 7 p.m., I made sure to let her know. Nurses are amazing. They are incredible human beings who give so much more than I ever knew was humanly possible to give to perfect strangers.

And in one tweet, Clarissa sent me right back to those horrible moments after the big surgery, the ones I pushed aside for the last nine months. My heart goes out to Clarissa and her family. I know what she’s going through. I know the fear and the worry and the feeling that nothing will ever be the same—that your entire future is nothing more than one big question mark.

I hope that you’ll join me in supporting Clarissa Goenawan and her husband in the weeks and months of trials they’ll have ahead of them. The medical bills can add up so quickly that it takes your breath away when you stop to think about it. We spent over $10,000 in out-of-pocket medical expenses last year. Without insurance, it would have been well over $300,000. Life can turn on a dime and moments like these are sharp reminders to hold our loved ones tight and appreciate all we have been given.

Screen Shot 2018-03-24 at 8.19.19 PMMany prayers for Clarissa and Choo and for a quick and complete recovery and a return to normal life.

And if you want to support a debut author in another most appreciated way, pick up a copy of her book, Rainbirds, released March 6th of this year.

 

These Boots Are Made For Walking

L. Ryan Storms5 Comments

Let’s talk shoes. What? That’s not related to writing?

Of course it is! Bear with me.

I love shoes. I know what you’re thinking already, but trust me when I say you’ve got it all wrong.  To clarify, I love a single pair of shoes. So what are they? Pretty little red ballet flats? Sexy black kitten heels? Strappy summer sandals?

No.

No.

And no.

They’re these.

boots

Purple, waterproof hiking boots by Ahnu. They’re considerably more beat up now than they were when I took this photo two years ago, but I love them no less (and they were especially wonderful on numerous hikes during my cross-country trip in 2015)!

What do I love most about them? I mean, why in the world would I dedicate a blog post to shoes?

These aren’t just shoes, my friend. These are the most kickass pair of boots I’ve ever owned. They’re comfortable. (Oh so comfortable!) And that’s what’s important. I love adorable shoes as much as the next gal, but every time I’ve tried to buy shoes because they’re “cute,” they sit in my closet and never get worn. So why bother? Why waste my time and money on something that I’ll never actually use?

The same goes for writing.

I’ve read work by so many different authors — authors whose voice pops off the page, authors who create characters I want to invite to lunch, authors who describe settings so beautifully, so poetically, and with such prose that makes me wish I could hop on a plane and get myself to wherever that main character might be because surely it’s heaven. (This is considerably harder if you read fantasy and the character is not on Earth, of course.)

But reading books by authors whose writing strengths are different from my own can have a debilitating effect on my writing. When I put down a really well-written book, I instantly fall into despair, knowing that my own work could never compare!

My writing will never be that good! I’ll never be able to capture a scene like that! What am I thinking???

Back to the boots. I don’t wear flashy heels because I can’t pull them off. (God, I wish I could. At 5 feet, I could use the height.) I don’t do the strappy sandal thing because I’m not a Greek goddess. (I’m not even Greek.)

So, I stick to what I do best. Yes, other writers have their strengths, but in admiring those strengths, it’s important not to get so caught up in my awe that I forget my own strengths. I, too, have strengths.

My point? As a writer, it’s okay to appreciate what other writers do well. (It’s encouraged!) It’s even okay to experiment with different writing styles to see what works for you (also a good idea!), but don’t get so intent on mimicking someone else’s style that you lose what makes your writing yours. Your voice is important. Willingly giving up your own style because you think it’ll “look better” if you do what works for another writer is akin to putting on a pair of heels half a size too small. Sure, you can fit your foot in there, but at the end of the day, do you really still want those shoes on your feet? Are they comfortable?

Forget about flashy. Stick with comfort. The “next big thing” could be anything, and maybe, just maybe, purple hiking boots are the next J.K. Rowling.

(Probably not.)

(Okay, definitely not.)

(But stay comfortable anyway.)